We’re walking on the trail, heading toward another remote location.
“How far is the swimming hole?” I ask my sister. Her boyfriend is a couple paces in front of us.
“About a half mile,” she says.
I know it’s not far but my head is tingling. The climbing temperatures, humidity and walking is getting to my head. I weigh it in my head. They’re happy, walking around like this. They love it here. I do too but I’m thinking ahead. My head is about to bloom into chaos, the pain will ravage me soon. I just hope I can get across the wire bridges before they do.
“Why?” she asks.
I smirk, I don’t even have to say it anymore.
“My head,” I begin.
“We can go home,” she says immediately.
I feel guilty like I always do. I’m cutting their day short. Both of their days off from work is going to be spent at home rather than where they want to go. We walked around for most of the afternoon but I still feel bad.
“Sorry,” I mutter.
“Don’t apologize,” her boyfriend says, “it’s not your fault.”
“We’re just happy you came this far with us,” my sister smiles, “we got to go where we wanted and had lunch. Successful day,” she tells me.
I feel a little bit better, still guilty.
When I get to the car, take some aleve, and close my eyes I know it was the right choice despite my guilt. They’re both happy I was able to spend the time I could with them.