Grating

It’s far from the worst headache I’ve ever had. So much in fact, I don’t even realize it at first. It sneaks up on me, slowly. It doesn’t hit me like a freight train. No, it comes slowly, seeping into the cracks and spaces in my head. I can never pinpoint the start of the pain. When did this start? What was I doing? How long has this been going on? Have I always been in pain? It’s annoying and grating. Just the very ends of my nerves are alight, slow burning. It’s a glowing ember instead of a roaring fire, both still hot. It’s not enough to justify anything, not enough for an Imitrex. Barely enough to justify taking Tylenol. It’s like my shoes are untied and I keep stepping on the laces, but I never retie them. I just keep tripping, but I’m still  moving forward. Stumbling at my own pace. Stopping and treating this would be giving up. It doesn’t hurt enough to make me admit defeat, I think I can fight it. It’s just enough to push me down, to keep me stumbling. It’s just enough to ware me down. It’s just enough to make me hate myself, that I fought and still lost.

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