It takes me a moment to realize it. That’s the thing about pain, you’re aware when you’re in it but not when you’re not. Those pain free moments are fleeting just because you don’t realize them. The pain is so sharp, like a color burst in your memory. The pain free moments are just the space between, white, dull, completely missable.
I always seem to stumble into this moments, like a eureka moment. Like a hardware check. I’m not suppose to be in pain all the time so I don’t even notice it. It takes a couple mental checks to realize that everything is in working order and not horribly frayed and hurting.
“I don’t have a headache,” I mutter to myself and drag my hands through my hair. I think back a couple days. Yesterday was gorgeous, nearing 50 degrees in late December. I blasted music and danced in the kitchen while making holiday cookies. Thinking back more days, even with the depression from the days clouded over, winter depression rearing her ugly head again and again, I had minimal pain.
I stretch my hands over my head relishing in feeling of joints popping into place. The water beats on my head as I rub the conditioner in my hair. I open my eyes to grab my body wash and it’s all snowy. I sigh, annoyed. Of course an aura. I have a few hours until the migraine strikes.